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#1 Mar 25, 2009 3:29 PM
- Taco Godess
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Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
A long, long time ago Toothatina used to have perfect teeth. One morning, she woke up to find all her teeth missing! It turns out she had gotten a rare, unnamed gum disease. Her friends banished her and she spent many long months wandering from town to town.
In one town, she was fluttering by an open window when she saw a boy stick a tooth underneath his pillow! Toothatina then got an idea and took the tooth from under the little child's pillow. When she fitted it into her mouth, she found that it fit perfectly! She got out her wallet and, after digging through her many Capital One cards she collected, she found some cash and left the little boy a dollar.
The next morning, the boy was amazed to find that his tooth had been replaced by cash. His friends were also amazed, so they, too, put their lost teeth under their pillows. From then on Toothatina went from town to town collecting the teeth of lost children, and when she found a tooth she didn't like she simply used it to build her palaces and mid evil torture devices.
THE END
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#2 Mar 25, 2009 3:58 PM
- Kazoobie64
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
This story is a hoax.
Everyone knows Toothatina is the Godmother of an illegal tooth trade happening around the streets of McAlleyville. The teeth involved in this trade are crushed into powder and sold as a drug to a very wealthy but shady group known as the Plaquingtons, because they are deluded characters that for some reason have pleasurable hallucinogenic reactions to tooth powder. It used to be a very dangerous trade where everyone would pull teeth out from the innocent with things like wire strippers, so everyone decided the practice wasn't worth it, because pulling out someone's tooth was impossible to do without getting police attention all over the place.
The trade was declining for a while until Toothatina, coming from a long line of professional illegal tooth traders, said this was bullcrap and concocted a plan. Using her ancestor's infamous psychological torture techniques, she threatened children's parents from all over the world who owed her money. Basically, she said she'd let them off scot free, but in return they must give her all of their childrens' baby teeth. Being the sap that she was when parents begged her not to get their children involved in this ugly atmosphere, she agreed to come and quickly take the teeth at nightfall, when the children were asleep. She asked that the teeth were to be placed under pillows so that she may just come in and help herself, then be out of there before the children even knew she was there.
This method turned out to be very successful for her, as the cops could never predict at what time she would show up to acquire the tooth. Plus, they didn't want to traumatize the sleeping children for life by slamming their doors down in the middle of the night and shouting "Toothatina! You're under arrest!" They figured child psychologists were getting paid enough.
You could almost hear Toothania to this day, wallowing in cash and cackling before getting a call from a crying mother wailing about how her child's tooth is now under the pillow and asking whether she can now be left alone. Toothania will slam down her phone, grab her wax gun, and be on her way with a thumbs up, her last words being: "all in a night's work."
Gosh, Taco, I thought EVERYONE knew this.
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#3 Mar 25, 2009 7:30 PM
- Spyro Master
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
THE TOOTH FAIRY ISNT REAL!!!!!!! well not in my opinion anyway XD
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#4 Mar 26, 2009 8:14 PM
- ontels
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
lol
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#5 Mar 28, 2009 1:55 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
lol XD
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#6 Mar 30, 2009 7:03 PM
- ontels
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
no u
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#7 Mar 30, 2009 9:47 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
YOU!!!
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#8 Mar 31, 2009 10:12 AM
- Aceedwin
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
Me.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Image from the legendary xkcd.
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#9 Mar 31, 2009 1:57 PM
- Taco Godess
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
Myself.
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#10 Mar 31, 2009 2:56 PM
- Aceedwin
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
And I.
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Image from the legendary xkcd.
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#11 Mar 31, 2009 3:54 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
GREAT NEWS EVERYONE ITS ME!!!!!!!!
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#12 Mar 31, 2009 7:49 PM
- ontels
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
better news I just had a poo
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#13 Mar 31, 2009 9:21 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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#14 Apr 01, 2009 10:47 PM
- Taco Godess
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
Shuddup no moar from u!1!!1!!
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#15 Apr 02, 2009 5:58 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
WHO??
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#16 Apr 02, 2009 10:25 PM
- Taco Godess
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
U is for urination!
Or umbrella...
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#17 Apr 03, 2009 4:39 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
XD lol UMBRELLAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#18 Apr 03, 2009 6:42 PM
- ontels
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
Todays letter is H for Homosidall.
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#19 Apr 03, 2009 7:13 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
You spelt it wrong!!!!!!! lol
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#20 Apr 03, 2009 10:56 PM
- Taco Godess
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
I is for my internal waste sack.
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#21 Apr 03, 2009 11:09 PM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
S is for Spyro Master is awesome XD
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#22 Apr 03, 2009 11:12 PM
- Taco Godess
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
OH, CATABATUS CATABATUS CATABATUS STARTS WITH C! *omnomnomnom*
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#23 Apr 04, 2009 9:29 AM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
XD lol catabatus FTW!!!!
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#24 Apr 04, 2009 10:09 AM
- ontels
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
what?
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#25 Apr 04, 2009 10:10 AM
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Re: Toothatina: The Origins of the Tooth Fairy
ONTELS FTL XD
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