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#1 Jun 12, 2008 6:42 AM
- cynderfan
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Cynder:My story
(Cyndery is telling this story)
Chapter 1
The beginning
It all started bad,Gaul had found me away from the other eggs so he decided to take me--and destroy the rest.
By the time I hatched this is where it began...
Gaul looked down at the new born hatchling all he did was grunt at me for I was colder than that hairy bum would ever be."What do you want?"
I began to hudle up to him,but all he did was push me away.
After a week or so he realised that I was fit for the job-to free the dark master.
Still being weak he began torturing me twisting my bones,streching my limbs.of course after this maddness I was a monster,not being able to control myself I obeyed the git so I set off first for Volteer ,still not being able to control myself I finished off with a gaurdian and a easy fight.
Now sucking the power out of him I said calmly "I now only need 3 of you guardians then it will be over Malefor will be free!"Volteer struggled again and I left him there to die then my next target was Cyril the ice guardian.
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#2 Jun 12, 2008 6:45 AM
- LordRattler
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Re: Cynder:My story
Good job so far....ya know thats what actually got me into liking cynder...when I found out the things in TEN, I felt so sad for Cynder....
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#3 Jun 12, 2008 4:01 PM
- shade105
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Re: Cynder:My story
good... personally i little too quick, but its nice
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#4 Jun 13, 2008 7:15 AM
- cynderfan
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Re: Cynder:My story
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#5 Jun 14, 2008 2:43 AM
- cynderfan
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Re: Cynder:My story
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#6 Jul 01, 2008 9:18 AM
- cynderfan
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Re: Cynder:My story
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#7 Jul 16, 2008 8:12 AM
- cynderfan
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Re: Cynder:My story
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#8 Nov 22, 2009 3:13 AM
- cynderfan
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Re: Cynder:My story
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#9 Nov 22, 2009 3:34 AM
- cooldude22345
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Re: Cynder:My story
Story seems a bit too rushed. And NEVER put P.S in a nonfiction. It just doesn't seem right, though somebody might disagree with me.
You have a couple of mistakes here and there, like when Cynder found Cyril you wrote, "Soon I found him roaming around a peice of ice and found him.". When I think of a piece of ice, I think about the kind that I put in my soda. Try being a little more descriptive with that, like "Soon I found him flying around a mountain of ice."
Plus, you said that you found him twice. lol. Check out my story sometime, kay?
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